Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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