oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
