Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
