fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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