Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
