Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
