Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
