I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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