she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
