we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
