either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
