you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
