just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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