So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
