maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
