Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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