exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
