oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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