and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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