At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
