butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
