Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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