Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
