Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
