Only a mothe r could love this liver
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
