i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
