He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
