Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
