You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
