It's Friday. Sex?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He better not be in your backpack
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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