the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize