Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dear god my vagina.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
