I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
