Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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