I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Blood and glitter go together right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
