we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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