3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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