sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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