You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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