I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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