she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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