Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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