Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
