Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
