three words: i give head
three words: not that well
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
