Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize