Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
