He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
