Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
this hospital has no fireball
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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