I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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