Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
