we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
