my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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