can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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