we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
