I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and she was petting her beer can
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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