Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
