i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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