so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
