it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
