In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
