I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
