at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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