i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He? As in you personified your dick?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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