i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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