Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
